


Wicked Games

by foive (arcticnewt)



Series: Wicked Games [2]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Five has issues, Five is aged up here to be the same age as the others, Five is emotionally constipated, I kinda think Five is a coward in this one, Possibly Unrequited Love, Vanya is a sweetheart, Who has time for feelings between all the apocalypses though really???, but still acknowledging that he was de-aged at one point
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-16
Updated: 2020-08-16
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:53:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25933939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arcticnewt/pseuds/foive
Summary: Five's musings on his feelings for Vanya, his childhood, his employment, and the wicked games that space and time love to play.Companion piece to All Too Familiar
Relationships: Number Five | The Boy & Vanya Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy/Vanya Hargreeves, Sissy Cooper/Vanya Hargreeves, but just a mention of Sissy/Vanya this is primarily Fiveya
Series: Wicked Games [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1880899
Comments: 24
Kudos: 98





	Wicked Games

**Author's Note:**

> A bit of a companion piece to "All too well", set maybe the first night the Umbrella Academy arrives at the Sparrow Academy. Five has a bit of time to himself to think.
> 
> The inspiration for this fic came to me in the song Wicked Games - Parra for Cuva.
> 
> Enjoy! 
> 
> (Side note, I'm also looking for a beta/people to bounce plot ideas off if anyone's interested!)

Five considered himself a risk-averse person. He didn’t become the most dangerous assassin in the space-time continuum without learning how to read people. That also meant being able to read his own emotions and keep himself in check. 

Given that, he was perfectly aware that Vanya was ‘it’ for him, even before he knew what that meant. 

She had always been his image of safety and comfort.

During Five’s time at the commission, it was Vanya’s memory that kept him sane (or as sane as he could be, given all the killing he’d done at the commission). 

Vanya was the warmth of sandwiches left in the dark of the night in the hopes that he’d return, that he could only appreciate through the Commission’s screens. Maybe her belief that he’d come back was just some wicked game she played with herself, looking for hope in places there never may have been any, or maybe she was just young and naive. ~~But was she really naive, if he’d always come back to her no matter the cost?~~

She was home, bringing him the comfort of a lived-in apartment that he’d never been able to visit then, with sheet music and sweaters strewn across the couch, hauntingly beautiful violin notes in the air. 

Five would sacrifice the world again and again to keep Vanya safe. He’d stop the apocalypse for her- he has, and he’d do it again and again to make sure she was alright. The Commission, the Handler, even their other siblings, everything and everyone else be damned.

She didn’t exactly _need_ him to protect her, she could probably protect him better if he was being completely honest with himself. He liked it ~~, and if the thought of their little face off in 1963 (with her fists clenched, that intense expression on her face and emanating power) left him biting his lip slightly, then that was nobody else’s business, was it?~~

Vanya could destroy them all if she wanted. 

~~She’d do it for Five, wouldn’t she?~~

He wasn’t _blind_ (Five knows how to read people, remember?).

There was something different between him and Vanya versus how he tolerated their other siblings. It was always present, even before the name Vanya, before he left, when they were all numbers and ranks to Reginald. While everyone was competing to be Number One, she was his friend. 

In the golden hours of the afternoons, she would sit with him in silence as he worked on time travel theories and equations, and just let him rant and rave and voice his thoughts. When Five would turn to ask her for her input, she’d flash him a tiny smile that would haunt him in the decades he was apart from his family (her). 

When he came back he wasn’t sure if _they_ were still Vanya&Five and not just Vanya and Five. He hadn’t really had much time to ponder these things, with the end of the world and whatnot. Ironic that the time-traveller would be running out of time, he thinks with a small laugh. He was arrogant, sure, but he wouldn't dare to be presumptuous ~~on this~~.

Why’d Vanya have to be so _kind_? Five really blamed the sandwiches, throughout time, that were the root of all these feelings. Even before he left, it was always the sandwiches. 

Back when they were all kids, Dad would always remind them that the Umbrella Academy didn’t need to be rewarded or recognized for doing their obligation to the world. But after missions, when Five was tired and bruised up, Vanya would sneak the same peanut butter & marshmallow sandwiches to his room and tell him how amazing he was doing, how powerful he was getting, how proud she was of him, how he was her favorite. 

He wondered if he still was. 

Five didn’t want these feelings.

He was _good_ at being detached. It was part of the job ~~or his previous job, to be more precise~~ , wasn’t it- 50 years of compartmentalizing, staying focused on his murderous assignments. Getting shit done was his personality at this point ~~not that his siblings were any help with that~~. 

But God, did Vanya make him feel things. Her kindness, her compassion, how _soft_ she was despite having blown up the moon in one timeline- Five couldn’t even be mad at her for creating the apocalyptic world he was stranded in for decades because it was Vanya. 

He wanted to blame her for these feelings. She made him laughably soft.

~~The question he asked himself in his darkest moments was: could this be rumored away? And would he want it to be?~~

He could’ve been okay with being stuck in the 1960s with her, building a life together, if it hadn’t been for the blonde woman ~~not that Five could blame anyone for adoring Vanya the way he did~~. He could be angry at everyone and everything in the world, in any world, except for her. So he chooses to blame the sandwiches. 

Five liked to think that nobody, not even Vanya, had the faintest clue of the weight of his emotions. At the risk of sounding appallingly mushy, Five and Vanya had a bond. A bond that space and time couldn’t even touch- she was the first person he’d sought out alone upon returning to the Umbrella Academy, and to him it was like no time had passed at all. 

There was a silent sort of understanding between them, they seemed to get each other easily. Probably why he afforded her more concessions during their saving-the-world deadlines than their other siblings. He wondered if this silent understanding extended even to these feelings.

He liked to think Vanya felt the same way at a time, maybe when they were kids and she would drop a kiss on his cheek to comfort him whenever he’d gotten into a fight with Dad. Or how she’d blush when he flashed into existence behind her. 

As kids, they never really talked about it for obvious reasons. Now, it was too late. With Five’s body being messed up age-wise across various time periods (probably weirding everyone out), and everything that Vanya had been through, it seemed like everything was too heavy for something good to happen. They didn’t have time for feelings. 

Five liked absolute certainty. That was why Five was so good at getting shit done, he always made it a point to be completely sure of the plan he’d be following. He could attribute the homicidal rage that’s been making him so damned pissed lately to the lack of security in these plans he’s been coming up with recently. Well, aside from being a paradox psychosis symptom he supposes- the rage has bubbled down to constant annoyance nowadays. Five liked absolute certainty, and he wasn’t sure what Vanya wanted from this _thing_ that existed between them. Or if _this_ even still existed for her, after all the shit that had gone down, after everything. 

He was a risk-averse person.

With that being said, Five resolved that he would never act on these feelings. There was too much at stake, years of family and friendship, an assortment of shared near-death experiences, and a connection that he should really stop trying to rationalize. Their siblings would probably implode when they heard about it ~~which they would, nothing stays a secret in this family after all~~. That would be the least of his problems, assuming that Vanya even saw things the same way. 

He couldn’t imagine losing her. After destroying multiple timelines, stopping several wars ~~that should never have really happened anyway~~ , mass murdering the Commission's board of directors, stepping on the Handler’s daughter’s _throat_ for fuck’s sake, he would never allow Vanya to be lost to _him_. Five worked too damn hard and did so much just to keep her safe and near him.

Nothing would ruin that. He would burn all the worlds down before Vanya was taken away from him again, and he'd be damned if it was _feelings_ that put any sort of distance between them.

Five was sure that Vanya would listen. He knew she’d understand him, because their bond could never be touched by time. 

He wished he could say the same for her feelings.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
